Fic: Remember that one time...in the ladies' room?; PG; Achele
rawrfabs
staplesauce1222
Title: Remember that one time....in the ladies' room?
Author: staplesauce1222
Rating: PG (Mild swearing)
Length: 500
Spoilers: None
Summary: 'Claire Danes helped undo my dress in the ladie's room'
A/N: Unedited, aaand it pretty much just came bursting out of my brain, most likely causes were exhaustion and this video interview. http://safe.tumblr.com/safe/video/2817203525/500



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‘Gottapeegottapeegottapeepeepee’ Was all that was running through Dianna Agron’s head as she walked briskly towards the ladies’ room at the Beverly Hilton, her very own Lea following close behind.

As she entered she cast a hasty glance at the only other occupant in the elegant restroom, Claire Danes.

‘ClaireDanes!gottapeegottapeegottapee’

Now normally such unladylike thoughts would never have crossed the classy blonde’s mind, but normally one, classy blonde, wasn’t, to put it briefly, completely smashed off the endless glasses of champagne poured freely throughout the 68th Annual Golden Globes.

“Di can you-” She briefly heard Lea’s voice, but she had already pulled her dress up and sat down.

‘Lea needs me! Gotta be fast! Ninja-pirate style!’

Making quick work of her business Dianna stepped out of the stall only to come face to face with.

Claire Danes.

More importantly.

Claire Danes unzipping Lea’s dress.

‘MINE!’

Di quickly stepped over and placed her hand on Claire’s, stopping her downward zipper motion completely.

*ahem* “I’ve got it, thanks Claire” She said curtly, adding a bit of her infamous raised eyebrow.

Claire smiled at her knowingly and said “Of course Dianna, congratulations to you both on your win, enjoy the rest of your evening”

And quickly exited the restroom, feeling the increasing angle of the Eyebrow, she might have been an award winning actress, but there was no way in hell she was going against that.

“She was just trying to help sweetie” Lea said trying to placate her girlfriend over her shoulder.

“MINE” Dianna growled as she quickly nipped her girlfriend’s slender neck.

Suppressing a moan Lea hastily said. “Hon, gotta pee…like now.” Gesturing to her still zipped zipper.

“Fine…..but you’re mine as soon as we get outta here” Di said grumpily.

Holding her dress to her body as she stepped towards the stall.

“I’m already yours” With a wink the stall door shut behind her.

The blond groaned a mumbled ‘cheesy’ as she massaged her brow, willing them to relax

“Oh but we have to go to a couple interviews first. Then we can go home” Lea yelled over the stall.

“Goddamn interviews, goddamn Golden Globes, only goddamn Golden Globes I wanna see are yours *grumble grumble*”

Hearing a flush she turned around only to be attacked by Lea’s lips.
“You know what it does to me when you curse” Lea said in between kisses.

Dianna pulled away and said in her sweetest voice.

“We have interviews to go to”

“GODDAMN STARDOM!”
Tags:

Thoughts?
rawrfabs
staplesauce1222
So I was listening to the Power of Madonna soundtrack (for the millionth time)... I've been trying to describe Naya Rivera's voice in the song "Like A Virgin", and the only way I could (of course) is to compare it to one Lea Michele's.

Lea Michele's voice is sweet like candy, it makes you smile as soon as you hear it.

Naya Rivera's voice is pure sex, it makes you scream 'Mailman!' as soon as you hear it.

Thoughts?

I haven't slept in three days.
rawrfabs
staplesauce1222
I have insomnia like mad right now, might as well make it semi-productive.





Tags:

Where It Began.... 2/?
rawrfabs
staplesauce1222
AN: Glee doesn’t belong to me …..~sob~

Enjoy, and please review.

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It was not often, even in the small town of Lima that you would see a man standing in the middle of the sidewalk with his mouth hanging open, staring at the red glare of distant tail lights.

It was the first time ever that it was the ‘stud’ of the town.

He just got blown off….THE NOAH PUCKERMAN got blown off by some slip of a girl.

That was one for the books.

Puck was angry, and drunk, and those two things were never good bedfellows. He stormed back into the bar slumping on to a stool in front of Tony.

“Whatever, she doesn’t know what she’s missin’ out on” He told Tony.

Puck didn’t understand why he was so angry, it was just some girl he’d seen once ONCE! for cryin out loud. He was a …well no not love em and leave em….more like a ...sleep with em and leave em kinda guy.

He’d never had a girlfriend, only repeats. ONLY repeats. No strings EVER! Was his personal motto.

So why? This wasn’t the first time he’d ever been turned down….though he was loathe to admit it, so it wasn’t the crushing surprise that a woman would refuse Puck Puckerman nononono. Here he was slobbering drunk over a woman.

‘Prissy bitch’ ‘I’m too good for her’ ‘she doesn’t know what she’s missing’ were the constant mantras going through his head.

“Hey Puck, I’m cutting you off, gimme your keys I’ll call you a cab” Tony said as he took the empty glass out of Puck’s hand.

“Yeah yeah yeah” Puck trusted Tony, they were good buddies and would often play cards outside of the bar together.

Puck stumbled out into the alley and got into the cab, the ride was short and Dan, the driver, knew where Puck lived.

His head reeling from the events of the night and the effects of the liquor he fell into bed with his clothes on. Mumbling to himself…

“Damn hot midget broads”

The next morning he trudged out of bed and headed to the shop, nursing a roaring hangover.

‘Alright life goes on, forget about her and get to work’

About half way through the day an older model T pulled into the shop, Puck was in the back working on the books, he figured his assistant could handle it, but then a shrill voice broke through his thoughts.

“Though I may be a woman I am still vastly knowledgeable when it comes to the inner workings of my car so DON’T try to pull one over on me. Do you understand?”

Puck rolled his eyes, his headache was still persistent and the thought of having to deal with another annoying ‘better than thou’ woman was not what he wanted at all, but he was the owner so he decided to go out and try to help his assistant.

Shit.

Just his luck, the screechy woman was none other than the smokin’ hot singer from the bar last night.

‘Great’ He thought to himself as he walked over to the loud woman and his cowering assistant.

“I’ve got this Ronny” He stood behind the woman and gestured to his assistant to go do something else.

“What seems to be the problem here?” He said as the broad turned around to face him.

“I need my vehicle fixed immediately and at a price that isn’t outrageous” She said haughtily
“Well I’m not prone to do any favors for women that blow me off” Puck said with his signature smirk pasted on his lips.

“Blow you off? Oh! You’re the cretin from last night” The woman’s eyes grew larger ‘if that was possible’ at her recognition.

“Yeah that’d be me” He said

“I want to speak to your manger” She said as she straightened up and tried to look imposing.

“I AM the manager, owner and operator” Puck said smugly

“Oh….well……maybe I should take my business elsewhere then” She pivoted, her long dark brown hair flipping over her shoulder.

“Now hold on, you’re not gonna get a better deal anywhere else, just because you blew me off doesn’t mean I’ll rip you off, those other mechanics will take one look at you and over charge you up the...alot”

“I suppose you're right, your reputation as an honest mechanic precedes you” She said as she stopped and turned back towards him.

“I’m Noah Puckerman, and you are?” He stuck his hand out for a handshake
She looked at it as if it were an alien being.

“Rachel, Rachel Berry” She said as she gingerly took his hand, which was remarkably soft for his trade.

“Alright then, now let’s talk shop.” Puck turned to her old Model T and began to listen as she rattled off its symptoms.

He looked at her while she was talking, A LOT, the wheels were turning in his head.

‘This could be good, at least she’s talking to me. Damn she is hot. Maybe I can use this situation to my advantage. I’ll play the nice guy for awhile and then I’ll spring. She won’t know what hit her’ He thought to himself as she certain ‘aspects’ of her.

Rachel Berry was a multi-tasker, always had been and always would be, so as she explained the problems to Noah Puckerman, her mind was going one hundred miles a second.

‘Well Rachel you’ve stuck your foot in it, he really is the only option to get your car fixed, and we might have misjudged him, sure he tried to hit on you at Tony’s but he’s a man so he probably couldn’t help himself, we are VERY attractive after all, just deal with him, get your car fixed and GET OUT, we don’t need romantic entanglements to some Lima Loser when we are on our way to Broadway, just smile and be nice and maybe he’ll even cut us a good deal, Lord knows Daddy’s trust fund is dwindling’

Puck’s voice jolted her out of her inner monologue.

“Well this looks like a pretty simple fix, I’ll have to call out for some of the parts, but come back in a couple days and she should be all ready for you” He said in a nice tone as he smiled at her.

‘WOW he has excellent dental hygiene’ *ahem*

“Wonderful I’ll be back in a few days for a progress report”

Rachel shook his hand and walked out to her waiting taxi.

Puck stared at her retreating figure, admiring the backside of her.

The same thought ran through their minds.

‘This is going to be easy’

That night Puck went to Tony’s after closing up shop, not that he was going there to see if SHE would be there, nonono, Puck just wanted a drink…..he also wanted to get his plan rolling.

As he sat down at the bar he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander over to the stage.

‘No sexy brunette midgets in sight’ He thought to himself as he waved Tony over.

“Puck how’s it goin what can I do for ya” Tony said amicably.

“I need a favor.” Puck said as he beckoned Tony closer.

Just as he was finished scheming, Puck looked towards the door and saw a certain minx walk in.

He made a beeline for the stage.

The spotlight glared down on him as he sat on a stool with his guitar in his lap, scanning the crowd he saw that she was looking at him with a strange look and a raised eyebrow, he winked at her and began to sing

I must confess that I like you
But there is something a miss
Tell me did it ever strike you
That a maid likes a man to steal a kiss
Now please don't think me bold
And please oh please don't scold
Just simply

Hold me
Fold me right in your arms
It's your affection I crave
Tease me
Squeeze me tight in your arms
Until I promise to behave
Fill me
Thrill me with tales of love
And all its sweet mystic charms
Then enfold me
Please don't scold me
Just hold me tight in your arms


As he let the last note play he looked up and saw her standing with her mouth agape as the crowd roared around her. He smirked at her; set his guitar aside and hopped off the stage, amid claps on the back he made a beeline for her.

“Hey Rachel, Rachel Berry I was hoping I’d see you here” Puck said as he glanced at what she was wearing, a very form fitting black dress, very form fitting indeed.

“I-I-Um Yes, I was ….here…to sing...but you sang and it was….beautiful” Rachel said, for the first time in her life she was finding it hard to form a coherent sentence, especially when those green eyes were staring at her.

Puck had never been one to mince words, and if he wanted to get into this woman’s dress he was pullin’ out all the stops.

“Glad you liked it, I sang it for you”

Rachel blushed prettily not knowing how to respond to that statement.

“Well…thank you, your voice is lovely, clearly you haven’t had any professional training, but it’s still quite good.” She said in her usual brusque manner.

“Um…thanks I guess. So are you singing tonight?” Puck asked casually ‘Keep it smooth man’ He thought to himself

“Of course, that’s what I came here for, any form of public presentation of my exceptional skill is practice for when I make it big on Broadway” She beamed at him

“Broadway huh? That’s that play thing in New York right?” He asked, not knowing too much about the big city, or its attractions.

“If by ‘play thing’ you mean the collaboration of play wrights and talented performers, a place of musical genius only allowed by the grace of the arts, then yes the ‘play thing’” She said to him matter-of-factly.
“Yeasuresurewhatever get up there and sing already” Puck said annoyed at her lecturing tone.

“Of course.” With that she strode up to the piano player, spoke a few words to him and stepped on to the stage and began to sing, which is exactly what she was born to do.

‘She sure talks a lot, but man….it doesn’t even matter, she sings like a mad woman, a crazy mad woman, a crazy mad woman who looks like an angel sent from Jehovah himself……damn I need a drink.’

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The song ‘Hold Me’ is written and performed by Art Hickman circa 1920
Please review!!!

Where It Began.....1/?
rawrfabs
staplesauce1222
AN: Glee doesn’t belong to me …..~sob~

ANN: This is my first fanfic, be kind and all that jazz.

ANNN: Set in the 20’s.

Enjoy, and please review.

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Captivating

The only word that could ever sum up a broad like this one.

Scratch that.

Enchanting.

Mesmerizing

Stunning.

Yeah, all those things.

‘My name is Noah Puckerman, but you call me Noah and you’ll get punched right in the kisser see? Puck’s the name and charm is my game. By charm I mean have my way with any woman I want – game. Oh yeah, this one would be....a *snap*. Throw her one of my trademark grins and she’s putty, just like the rest of them broads.’

Puck’s plan for the night HAD been to walk in and tell Santana, his ‘regular you know what’ that she needed to take a break and subsequently take her in the back alley and do the deed.

BUT.

That was before he saw HER, looking a bit lost in the dark smoky atmosphere of Tony’s Bar, the dim lights and the raucous noise all seemed to fade away as he sat in his usual booth and looked at her as she looked lost, and what kinda man would he be if he let a woman look so lost.

‘I’d be glad to help her find her way.’ He thought to himself as he took off his fedora and suit coat, laying them on the table.

He started to walk over to the bar, thinking he would casually sit on the bar stool next to her, but no.

She walked away! She stepped up to the single microphone on the small stage off in the corner, the crowd grew quiet as they turned to look at the lovely brunette in the white dress, a bright red feather, the same color as her lips, sticking out of her hair. A dash of color in the stark browns and grays of the room.

The piano started up in some jaunty tune or other.

Then.

She sang...

“Tony, who IS that girl?” Puck said his voice full of awe.

“She’s my new singer, she’s got some balls too, she just waltzed right in and said ‘you need a singer, and I’m the best’. Hahaha and business is boomin’ thanks to her, look at all those schmoes can’t keep their eyes off her.” He said as he polished glasses and looked around appreciatively at the throng of people walking in.

“I’ma get her and she doesn’t even know it yet” Puck said with a smirk.

“Ha you and every other guy in the room, she’s a tough one though, turns down every guy that approaches her, and EVERY guy approaches her. You want some ‘water’ Puck?” Tony said slyly.

Since the Prohibition bars had been closing down everywhere, but not Tony’s he was in good with the cops.Not that the Feds would ever come out to this Podunk town anyway. With a population of less than 2,000 the Feds had better things to worry about.

“Sure sure Tony gimme a whiskey straight up. What’s her name?” Puck said not even bothering to look at Tony as the discouragements the bartender threw at him went in one ear and out the other.

“Rachel……Rachel Berry” Tony said as he set a glass of well whiskey in front Puck.

“Berry huh? Jewish, nice.”

“How’s that business of your's goin?”

“It’s goin alright, not much changes in this town, since I’m the only mechanic in it” Puck said distractedly.

Tony knew that Puck was the only mechanic in Lima, Ohio, but the reason his business was doing so well was because one, he was a charmer, and two his rates were golden. Tony’d heard about the favor he did for Widow Garrison, poor woman 67 years old didn't have anyone else and was barely makin ends meet. Her radiator blew and she took it to Puck’s Auto to get an estimate, Puck told her to leave it over night and the next day when she came back Puck had fixed it, free of charge.

So though Tony knew that Puck was a womanizer, he also knew that Noah Puckerman had a heart of gold. You could ask Puck about it, but he’d probably just flip you off and say it was ‘None of your damn business’

Rachel had finished her number and started heading out the door, as she walked by Puck he snagged her arm and drew her to the bar.

“Lemme buy you a drink” He said giving her his trademark Puck smile.

Rachel quickly drew her arm back and politely said ‘No thanks’ and proceeded to walk out the door, not even giving him a second look.

Puck was…..shocked, he’d never been turned down in his entire life, and especially not when he put on the smile. He sat there for a millisecond and jumped out of his seat after her.

She had just walked out the door when he caught up with her.

“Hey!”

“Yes?”

“What you’re too good to have a drink with me?”

“Why yes, in fact I am, I only come here to practice my talent in front of an audience, NOTHING ELSE”

Puck was speech less, usually the girls were falling all over him, he didn’t really know what to do when he met rejection.

She got into her car and promptly drove off, leaving him standing there like a bumbling idiot.

NO ONE made Puck look like a fool.

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Please Review.

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